Top Five Regrets of the Dying

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

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When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Bronnie Ware is a writer and songwriter from Australia. Her blog has a loyal and ever-increasing following and has been quoted in several respectable international publications. Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full-length book, also titled 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying'. For more information about this or to read more of Bronnie's work, please visit her blog at http://inspirationandchai.com.

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Good Sources Of Folic Acid

Folic acid is a vital vitamin for good physical and mental wellbeing, however it is also the B vitamin that people are most likely to be deficient in. In order to ensure that you get the correct amount of folic acid it is important that you eat foods rich in this vitamin. If you are going to take a folic acid supplement you need to take a good B vitamin supplement as well containing the other B vitamins, especially vitamin B12 as folic acid may mask symptoms of vitamin B12 deficiency.

An excellent source of folic acid are cereals that have been fortified with 100%DV (400 mcg) of folic acid. The National Institute of Health, office of dietary supplements explains the term DV, "DV's are reference numbers developed by the Food and Drug administration (FDA) to help consumers determine if a food contains a lot or a little of a specific nutrient. The DV for folate is 400 micrograms.A food providing 5% of the DV or less is a low source while a food that provides 10-19% of the DV is a good source. A food that provides 20% or more of the DV is high in that nutrient."

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Three ounces of cooked, braised beef liver is an excellent source of folic acid offering 45%DV. The next good sources of folic acid are cowpeas and cereals fortified with 25%DV, both of these sources have a 25%DV. For the cowpeas you will need to have half a cup of immature cowpeas (also known as blackeyes) which have been boiled.

Good Sources Of Folic Acid

Half a cup of frozen spinach that has been boiled also contains a 25%DV for folic acid and is one of the foods normally recommended to increase your intake of folic acid.

Half a cup of great northern beans that have been boiled, as well as 4 boiled asparagus spears contain a DV of 20% and can also be used to increase your intake of folic acid.

A number of other foods contain a DV between 10 and 15% such as vegetarian baked beans, raw spinach, green peas, broccoli, egg noodles, avocado, peanuts, lettuce, wheat germ, tomato juice and orange juice.

By following a diet that contains plenty of fruit and vegetables, especially the dark green, leafy vegetables as well as taking cereals that have been enriched with folic acid allows you to ensure you are getting enough folic acid in your diet. There are many good sources of folic acid and a large variety of meals can be planned using the sources mentioned above. Have a look at the DV of folic acid or folate on the foods you buy and try to achieve 100% DV daily for maximum benefits.

Good Sources Of Folic Acid

Learn more about folic acid deficiency on our site. You'll also find other information such as vitamin b12 deficiency and function of essential and nonessentional fatty acid. OmegaFlaxSeedOil.com is a comprehensive resource to help individuals gain the benefits of essential nutrition such as flax seed oil, omega 3 and vitamin B12.

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Six Important Managerial Skills For Successful Leadership

A mark of a good leader is to be able to provide consistent motivation to his team encouraging them to attain excellence and quality in their performance. A good leader is always looking for ways to improve production and standards. Here are six management skills you can develop as a leader in working to create a quality effective team.

1. Observation

& Fitness

This is an important aspect that often gets neglected due the demands on a leader's time and schedule. Observation and regular visits to the work environment are a priority and should be scheduled into the calendar. Observing employees at work, the procedures, interaction and work flow is foundational to implementing adjustments to improve results. To have credibility, a leader needs to be seen and be known to be up to date with what is happening in the work place.

Six Important Managerial Skills For Successful Leadership

2. Monitor Employee Performance

Employee performance needs to be monitored in mutually accepted ways. Policies and procedures need to be clear. Conferencing should be on a regular basis and not just when there is a problem. Assessments and evaluations should not be merely all formality or viewed a necessary paperwork to be done and filed away. Individual and group conferencing should be undertaken not only to monitor performance, but with the expectation of on going professional development and support. There should be frequent encouragement and clear criteria for on going goals both for the group and individual.

3. Implementation of Professional Development Programs

A good leader evaluates weaknesses and provides training and development strategies to strengthen the weaker skills in the team.

4. Demonstrates Working Knowledge and Expertise

Good leadership comes from a place of strong knowledge and experience of the production and process leading to results. If a leader does not possess all the expertise and knowledge personally, then regular consultations with experts involved in the departments should be held. This is important in order to maintain an accurate and informed overall picture.

5. Good Decision Making

Good leadership is characterized by the ability to make good decisions. A leader considers all the different factors before making a decision. Clear firm decisions, combined with the willingness and flexibility to adapt and adjust decisions when necessary, create confidence in the leadership.

6. Ability to Conduct and Evaluate Research

On going review and research is vital in order to keep on the cutting edge in business. While managing the present to ensure on going excellence in product and performance, a good leader is also able to look towards the future. Conducting and evaluating research is an important way of planning and being prepared for the future.

Excellent leadership is always pro active rather than reactive. By developing these six managerial skills builds a solid foundation for success.

Six Important Managerial Skills For Successful Leadership

Barbara White, is a speaker and trainer in Leadership Skills.

For more Leadership articles [http://www.beyondbetterleadership.com]

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Heart Disease - Our Modern Plague Resolved

In the last hundred years, our society has had to endure an ever-increasing plague affecting the lives of millions. Cardiovascular Disease (CVD) in the form of 'Occlusive Cardiovascular Disease', which is also known as 'Atherosclerosis' or 'plaquing' of the arteries is affecting younger and younger people with each passing generation. The disorder leads to the majority of our heart attacks, strokes and the spiraling costs of healthcare. It remains today as the leading cause of death by disease in the developed world.

Medical treatment of choice continues to be cholesterol-lowering drugs (statin drugs). Add to this the prescriptions for chest pains, high blood pressure, blood thinners, calcium beta-blockers, triglyceride etc. and you have a toxic cocktail mix taken by millions of people with only a poor prognosis to show for their efforts.

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What can we do?

Heart Disease - Our Modern Plague Resolved

A world-renowned biochemist Linus Pauling PhD (1901-1994), two-time unshared Nobel Prize Laureate, and recipient of more than 40 honorary degrees is regarded by many of his peers as one of the world's greatest scientific minds of the 20th century. In his last interview with the British journal of the Institute of Optimum Nutrition he spoke these prophetic words:

"I think I know what the answer is... we can get almost COMPLETE CONTROL of cardiovascular disease, heart attacks and strokes by the proper use of this therapy ...even cure it." -- Linus Pauling (1992)

The "therapy" he spoke about was formulated after decades of scientific and clinical research and introduced following issues of his patents (1990 and 1991) for the reversal of 'Occlusive Cardiovascular Disease'. Add this to his 1989 'Unified Theory" of heart disease and we have an effective way of eliminating the majority of suffering caused by this major scourge of our times.

Medicine's silence is deafening!

Mainstream medicine and big Pharma continue to remain silent as to Pauling's discovery and one might be inclined to believe that their focus on profits might be the motives for their suppression of his research. Heart disease is big business.

How does Pauling's formula work? It's rather quite simple. It starts with the scientific facts that CVD is predominantly a Vitamin C deficiency disease. Also lacking is, a couple of key amino acids L-lysine and L-proline. Add to that a few supportive A, B, & E vitamins, minerals like magnesium and selenium, a little CoQ10 and plenty of Omega 3 oils, and there you have it. A formula which when taken therapeutically, can stop, reverse and help the body heal the majority of CVD cases.

Following up on 1985 Nobel Laureates Brown and Goldstein's scientific work of the early 1980's, Pauling re-confirmed that all plaque in the arteries is laid down as temporarily repair material for damaged or injured blood vessels. This sticky cholesterol plaque, which the body uses to seal up the cracks and fissures, is a "special" kind of cholesterol made in our livers and not the cholesterol we ingest from fatty foods. LP(a) cholesterol plaque is manufactured as a necessary emergency 'secondary response tissue' to deal with the damaged blood vessels. This happens only when the body is malnourished.

The 'primary' healing tissue for blood vessels is "collagen". Collagen needs high levels of Vitamin C and amino acids such as lysine, proline, to be properly and adequately synthesized. Also, L-lysine and L-proline act as LP(a) binding inhibitors.

So there is hope for the majority of those who suffer with this chronic degenerative disease. The results of using the Pauling protocol are predictable and measurable.

Start by getting a full blood profile for heart risk factors. Once you have your 'numbers', start taking a well formulated 'Pauling formula' product (Cardioflex Q10) up to three times a day with juice or water. (Water only if you are diabetic) You will start to notice a difference in your wellbeing within only a few days to a few weeks.

Note: Check regularly with your doctor as to the continued need for your prescription drugs. Within 6 to 18 months, the majority of patients should be off most of their heart drugs and will have reduced by up to 80-90% all of their CVD risk factors identified in the blood tests.

Adopting a healthier diet and a regular exercise routine accelerates the process and puts you on a fast tract to a lifetime free of heart disease.

You no longer have to be a casualty of the CVD plague.

Dr. Gerry Bohemier DC

Heart Disease - Our Modern Plague Resolved

Dr. Gerry Bohemier is a retired chiropractor who spends most of his time formulating and researching nutritional products and their therapeutic benefits. He lectures on heart disease across the nation and has written many articles published in natural health magazines. He recommends Innotech Nutrition products for the reversal/control of heart disease, but does not receive any money for the sale of the items he recommends. See http://www.innotechnutrition.com for more info.

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Love Addiction, Approval Addiction

In my experience as a counselor for 40 years, I have found that love addiction and approval addiction are far more prevalent than any other substance or process addictions. We live in a love-addicted, approval-addicted society.

What does it mean to be love/approval addicted? Below is a checklist for you to see if you are addicted to love and/or approval. Believing any of these may indicate love or approval addiction.

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I believe that:

Love Addiction, Approval Addiction

* My happiness and wellbeing are depended upon getting love from another person.

* My adequacy, lovability, and feelings of self-worth and self-esteem come from others liking me and approving of me.

* Others disapproval or rejection mean that I'm not good enough.

* I can't make myself happy.

* I can't make myself as happy as someone else can.

* My best feelings come from outside myself, from how other people or a particular other person sees me and treats me.

* Others are responsible for my feelings. Therefore, if someone cares about me, he or she will never do anything that hurts or upsets me.

* I can't be alone. I feel like I'll die if I'm alone.

* When I'm hurt or upset, it's someone else's fault.

* It's up to other people to make me feel good about myself by approving of me.

* I'm not responsible for my feelings. Other people make me feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, shut down, or depressed. When I'm angry, someone makes me feel that way and is responsible for fixing my feelings.

* I'm not responsible for my behavior. Other people make me yell, act crazy, get sick, laugh, cry, get violent, leave, or fail.

* Others are selfish if they do what they want instead of what I want or need.

* If I'm not connected to someone, I will die.

* I can't handle my pain, especially the pain of disapproval, rejection, abandonment, the pain of being shut out - the pain of isolation and loneliness.

Living as a love or approval addict is a very hard way to live. You have to constantly make sure you say the right thing, do the right, and look right in order to get the needed love and approval. Your feelings are on a roller coaster - from feeling the wonderful feelings that come from getting your love or approval "fix" to feeling the despair that comes when your "supply" - the source of your love and approval - shuts down, gets angry or judgmental, or goes away.

THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF LOVE AND APPROVAL ADDICTION

Love and approval addiction is rooted in self-abandonment. Imagine the feeling part of you as a child - your inner child. When you are love or approval addicted, you have handed your inner child away for adoption. Instead of learning to take responsibility for your own happiness by loving and approving of yourself, you have handed your inner child away to others for love and approval - making others responsible for your feelings. This inner self-abandonment will always cause the deep pain of low self-worth, making you dependent upon others for your sense of worth.

The sad thing about all of this is that love is the most abundant thing in the universe. We live in a sea of love - it is always within us and all around us. It is our Source. When you learn to open to Spirit/God/Source, you become filled with love, with peace, with joy. The empty place within that yearns to be filled becomes so filled with love that it overflows to others. You find yourself desiring to give love rather than always trying to get it.

As long as you make others your Source, you will not find the love, peace and joy that you seek. By learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach, you can learn to fill yourself with love and heal your love and approval addictions.

Love Addiction, Approval Addiction

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

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